THE LOST ART OF CONVERSATION

Since the advent of the internet, texting, and social media, communication has changed dramatically. It used to be that we conversed in person, over a coffee or a meal, in a relaxed setting where nuanced explanations and facial expressions mitigated tension, misunderstanding. Now, however, in the age of the meme, the tweet, the abbreviated text, there is little room for nuance, or for smoothing over a disagreement. No room to provide context or history or a broader view.

We can teach our children how to have conversations, though, by providing a living example for them and with them. We can insist on phone-free dinners with our children – and abide by this rule ourselves.  We can conduct civil discourse with them, on topics that are important, perhaps even controversial, and model for them how to listen, how to validate another opinion, and how to inject our own point of view without mocking or minimizing the other. We can agree to disagree in a way that validates opposing views without making anyone feel less than. We can disagree and still have close relationships with others.

We have to teach our children this art because this is the only path forward. As your child prepares to venture out onto a college campus, where there may be continued divisiveness, where students may reside in their own echo chambers (just as we adults often do), the only way your child may be able to have an impact is to connect with others through conversation. The only way your child may be able to combat loneliness on campus is to connect via conversation. It is a tool that will benefit your child throughout their lifetime.

It is not through tweets that we truly connect. It is not through texts. It is through the art of conversation that we can ever truly, deeply connect.